Welcome To Camp Chummy!
by UltrraShaddow
Summary: Sonic & Knuckles are roomates at the most bogus and cheapest Summer Camp! Expect humor, confusion...and KNUCKLES! R&R!
1. Roommates!

**W**eLcOmE **To cAmp** **C**huMmY!!!

**chum·my** [ ch m ] Very closely associated:

close, familiar, friendly, intimate

[Nope, I don't own any Sega characters…especially Knuckles…]

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**EP-pee-soe-d {WuN}**: **" Roomates****"**

"Allright! It's finally Summer! And I'm finally here! At camp!"

The blue hedgehog threw all his belongings to the floor and dived into the top bunk bed. Just as he belly flopped onto the bed, he felt something, and lifted it up into his vision. It was a card.

" 'Do knot take me, signed, your ruummate,'" read Sonic, "My, aren't you a good speller?"

Sonic threw the card away and closed his eyes, relaxing, then he heard the door bust open.

"_HEY! GET OFFA MY BED_!"

Right above Sonic's head, a frappuccino flew, and splattered on the wall. Sonic looked over at the door.

"HEY! Why you---_Knuckles_!?"

"Sonic!? Oh thank goodness! I thought you were a…troll," sighed Knuckles, "but leprechauns, now they are some _freaky_ bastards…"

"…"

Knuckles walks over to his suitcase on the ground then turns around and looks at Sonic with a mischievous smile, "Hey…_wanna get into trouble_!?"

"Ummm…"

"WITH MONOPOLY!?"

Knuckles pulled out the board game Monopoly and Sonic joined him on the floor.

"I am the King at Monopoly! How else do you think I got the Master Emerald!?" Knuckles smiled.

"…Your ancestors gave it to you?"

"……………….SHUDDAP!"

They began playing and five minutes into the game… Knuckles is completely broke and Sonic owns everything.

"You landed on boardwalk and I have a hotel…that's gonna coast you..(whistles) $1,200," read Sonic.

"Oh, please don't take my kids outta their schools! Timmy's only 56!" Knuckles wailed.

"Knuckles, how can you suck so bad at this game, you roll ones every single roll," said Sonic, "And you somehow always manage to go to jail every other turn…"

"Okay, well, if I don't have to pay that rent…I'll give you the Master Emerald!" reasoned Knuckles.

"…Aren't you suppose to be watching that at Angel Island thing right now!?" asked Sonic.

"Hell no!"

Angel Island plunges into the sea.

"Well, sure then Knuckles, your roll."

" O great guardians and ancestors of Angel Island, give me strength with this roll of the dice…and…My genes? I SHALL NOT HAVE THEM SPLICED!"

Knuckles rolled a three and landed on a chance time. Both Sonic and Knuckles exchanged smiles, "Wow, your first non-ones roll."

"I got a three! I got a three! And a chance card, " 'Your brother has tricked you, and now you are…_IN JAIL_!?'"

Sonic moved Knuckles' miniature silver car to jail and smiled at him.

"SOME BROTHERHOOD WE HAVE!" Knuckles threw the card, "Wait until the next family reunion…"

"Bring any good videos?" asked Sonic.

"Let's see, I brought, The Knuxtrix, The Fast and the Knuckled, The Little Knuckles, Knuckles and the Seven Emeralds, Knuckles in Knuckleheadland, Free Echidna, and Knuckles, the friendly ghost-echidna, what about you?"

"Nothing of that variety," huffed Sonic sarcastically.

"Hey…troublemaker," hissed Knuckles, rising to his feet, looking quite mad," Are you _looking_ for a fight!?"

"What are you talking about?" asked Sonic confused.

"Oh I'm sorry, I hate sarcasm," said Knuckles, "When I hear sarcasm I hear, _'Hey! I want trouble, 'cause I'm a troublemaker, so want trouble_!?' And I hate trouble, Sonic."

"Yeah…as I hear…" said Sonic slowly.

"_What was that_!?"

"No! I'm not making any trouble," Sonic said.

"Good! Non-troublemaker," said Knuckles eyeing his suspiciously.

Sonic and Knuckles, yes, like the video game, heard someone knock on the door, and Sonic opened the door.

"Yes?"

"_COME TO MAMA, YOU STUD MUFFIN_!"

Sonic was tackled to the floor by a beige female echidna who plowing him with kisses.

"Whoa!"

"_YUM!_"

"A little help here Knuckles!?" squealed Sonic in a super-high pitched voice.

"Well, you did beat me very badly in—"

"KNUCKLES!!!"

"Okay! Okay! Knuckles to the rescue!...Or _is it_?"

Knuckles darted over and pulled the girl off of Sonic and revealed that she was Tikal the echidna!

"Tikal!?" Sonic gasped.

"Sonic? _Sonic_!?" she said displeased, "Well, that was an unpleasant surprise! Those were NOT meant for you!"

"Tikal!?" Knuckles gasped.

"Knuckles!?" Tikal responded.

"What are you doing here?" Both Sonic and Tikal said simultaneously.

"Tikal!?" Knuckles gasped.

"Well…were else can I find a single, fine, eligible bachelor, ages 15 through 50?"

"50!?" asked Sonic arching an eyebrow.

"What? Eggman's twenty-something," she said shrugging.

"OH THAT IS NASTY!" said Sonic, taking a step away from her, "Everytime I look at you now…NASTY!"

"Tikal!?" Knuckles gasped.

"I swear, what is all that racket!?"

Walking down the Hallway was Amy with Rouge and Cream.

"Sonic!!!" Squealed Amy.

"Amy…" moaned Sonic.

"Sonic?" asked Rouge.

" Rouge?" asked Sonic.

"Sonic," waved Cream.

"Cream," waved Sonic.

Sonic turned to look at Tikal, "…NASTY!"

"Find that eligible bachelor yet?" Asked Rouge.

"Not in here," said Tikal eyeing Knuckles, who was returning her gaze.

"What are you girls doing here!?" Asked Sonic.

"Probably the same reason as you," replied Rouge, "Relaxtion, peace, and no Eggman."

Rouge turned around and spotted Knuckles, " Knuxy!!?"

"Ruth! I mean…um…hey! How have ya been, kitten!?"

"You still haven't called me my correct name yet…" said Rouge slowly.

"And we'll keep it that way!"

"Sonic?"

Walking down the hallway was Tails, then once he saw Sonic, he smiled, " SONIC!"

"TAILS!"

That's right Sonic and Tails, back together again…just like in the videogame, which is currently on sale for $12.05 at your local WalMart, and $19999999.00 at your local Eggman Bargin Bash so come drop by today!

"It's good to ya see again, lil' bud!" Sonic said messing up Tails' hair.

"It's good to see you to—(Sniffs) Did someone just play Monopoly?" said Tails sniffing the air.

"Yeah, and Knuckles' got his ass kicked!" Whooped Sonic.

" Oh yeah!? Well at least I won't have to smell my fart tonight," said Knuckles with a bitter grimace, " 'CAUSE I'LL BE ALSEEP BY THEN!"

"…You can smell Monopoly!?" asked Rouge skeptically, ignoring Knuckles.

"Yup!"

"Then what _else _can you smell!?" asked Knuckles slowly.

"Can you smell money?" asked an unfamiliar voice.

The Sonic crew turned around to see Team Chaotix behind them, leaning against the wall.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhh—oh, it's only you guys! Hey!" said Sonic a little shakily.

"So, what are you guys doin' here?" Asked Amy.

" For honor," answered Espio.

"Pssh! Puh-lease! We're here for money!" said Vector, " It's a mission…and we're getting' paid!"

"Yup!" said Charmy.

"MEN!" said Tikal with a psychotic look upon her face.

She approached Team chaotix drooling, but Knuckles took her by the arm and pulled her away.

"I'm sorry fellas, I gotta talk to her for a second," said Knuckles.

Knuckles pulled Tikal out of his room and down the hallway, and once they were away from the gang, they both started speaking Russian. But their conservation is translated in English… sold in Britain for $1349545.01 at your local Eggman Bargain Bash!

" _Agent__ 00.16, what are you doing_!?" asked Knuckles.

" _I'm__ sorry Agent 00.1, but you know that I'm a man-o-holic_…" said Tikal looking ashamed.

"_Stick to your primary mission, we must find…whatever it is that our agency lost!_!" said Knuckles.

"_Affirmative!"_

"_Hey, Agent 00.16?"___

_"Yes 00.1?"_

_"Why are we speaking Russian?"_

_"Russian!?__ Because spies…ARE SEXY!"_

_"End of transmission!" _said Knuckles.

Both Knuckles and Tikal did a secret handshake, winked, then ran on the walls of the hallway until they reached the room where the Sonic team was.

"Whoa, it's a whole Sega jamboree here! It's too bad that Shadow's not…with us..." said Amy sadly.

"Isn't he in Mexico!?" Asked Knuckles.

Everyone looked up at Knuckles, looking either really mad or skeptically at him.

"What!?"

The toilet in the bathroom flushed, and the door opened, and out came Shadow whistling; wearing a shower cap on his head and a blue towel wrapped around his body in the style a female does.

"SHADOW!?" Everyone cried.

"…Who?" asked Vector, turning to Espio for an answer.

"I do not know, I thought he was Sonic…" said Espio shrugging.

"YOU ARE ALIVE!!" said Sonic.

"Yes," said Shadow as if he hadn't fallen through outer space and everyone thought he was dead.

"How did you survive!?" asked Rouge.

"...Starbucks..." answered Shadow slowly.

"Are you an angel?" asked Knuckles.

"…I'm 71.982% sure that……….dang, I don't know," said Shadow.

"Will you marry me!?" asked Cream getting on her knees.

"AWWWW!" Everyone cried.

Shadow laughed, then became serious, "_How old are you_?"

"Were you by chance locked away from mankind for a long time and friends with a little girl who died in outer space!?" asked Tikal.

"Yeeeeeeeeees," said Shadow slowly.

"_WOW_!" said Tikal eyeing him and licking her lips.

"Well, since we're all here, who wants to play Monopoly?" asked Knuckles, "It's Machadoeshus!"

"What is a 'machadosheus'!?" asked Rouge.

"You don't make up your own words!?" asked Knuckles laughing.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna watch 'Knuckles, the friendly ghost-echidna,'" said Vector, popping the tape in the VCR, "This movie is the joint!"

As everyone else, besides Vector was playing Monopoly, the phone rang, and Sonic got up and answered it as everyone stole his paper money.

"Who's this?"

"Hello, are ya'll the therapy peoples?" asked a voice.

"Rotor? The Walrus from SATAM!? Dammit, how'd you get this number!? Sega should have cut you off by now!"

"You're a therapist….aren't you?"

"No," answered Sonic bluntly

"…Can you pretend to be one?" asked Rotor.

"No!"

"Okay, well, it's Sally…again…someone's been eatin' my nachos and I know it's that bit—"

"Rotor! I am NOT the therapists! It's me! Sonic!"

"…Really?"

"Yes,"

"Naw, Sonic's dead!"

"…WHO TOLD YOU THAT!?"

"Sonic?"

"_Yes_, _Rotor_!?"

"…I didn't know you were a therapist!"

"THAT'S JUST IT! I'M NOT!"

"Oh, okay…Like I said, [Sonic: I ] it's Sally again, she's been eatin' my dortios and I just want your advice, good sir."

"AAAAAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!!!"

2 Bee Con-10-U-Ed!!

Cream walks out on a stage, and gets on one knee, "Please leave a review! Okay?"

Shadow looks at her and rolls eyes, "Leave this, to the pros, lil' girl, (clears throat) Leave a review or I'll track you down, hunt you, hunt you s'more, and creep into your window at 12:00 a.m. with a axe and laugh, cough, and then—What, you don't believe me? Wait until the satellites find you!"

" Please leave a review, so Mr. Shadow won't have to do those mean things! Thank you!"


	2. A Very Unsafe Day To Be Sonic

**W**eLcOmE **tO cAmp ChuMmY!!!**

**chum·my** [ ch m ] Very closely associated:

close, familiar, friendly, intimate

[Nope, I don't own any Sega characters…especially Knuckles…]

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**EP-pee-soe-d {Tuu}**: **"A Very Unsafe Day To Be Sonic…"**

It was seven in the morning and nothing in Sonic and Knuckles' room stirred until…

_Plop! _A wad of paper hit Sonic, but he stayed asleep. This time Knuckles threw two wads of paper at Sonic, but he still slept…until Knuckles threw a suitcase at him.

"Gah!" Sonic fell out of his bed, "_I am ten seconds away from killing you_!"

"Sonic, c'mere," whispered Knuckles.

The echidna was hiding behind a table, looking at Sonic with huge, beady eyes, "_C'mere man_!"

Sonic slowly approached him and bent over next to him, "What!?"

"See that thing over there! It's a possum!" cried Knuckles.

"Knuckles, that is…a sock..on the ceiling fan..." said Sonic.

"I swear, that has to be the biggest badger I've ever seen!" said Knuckles.

The phone rang and Sonic went over and answered it, "Yellow? Hi mom, yes I'm fine…no, I haven't been captured by Nintendo…yes…MOM!? I DO NOT LIKE AMY! And Rouge is NOT a sorceress…yes ma'am, I'll keep my eyes on her…"

While Sonic was on the phone, talking to his mother, Knuckles is running around the room with a duster chasing a sock that's swinging on the ceiling fan, "DIE! DIE! DIE! YOU SERVENT OF EVIL!"

"Yes, I'm rooming with Knuckles…no, Knuckles, not Keith, Keith was the boy who talked to squirrels, remember? Sally? Whoa, don't get me started on _her_ mom…"

As Sonic is on the phone, he feels something land on his head, and he slowly looks up to see a possum, "_Talk to you later mom…Knuckles…come here…"_

"What is i—Oh MY GOODNESS! YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A GRADE A POSSUM ON YOUR HEAD!"

"_Help_..." Sonic whined.

"Okay, you do exactly as I say or he'll bite you and send chemicals into your brain...AND EXPLODE YOU! HE'LL KA-BOOM YO' ASS!" Knuckles yelled.

…See how Knuckles isn't making matters any better?

"Okay Sonic, get on your knees and show him that he's the master…" said Knuckles.

Sonic hesitates, "DO IT MAN! OR THAT POSSUM'LL GET MAD AND BITE YOU AND DIEASE YOU AND LOVE YOU AND—"

"OKAY! Okay…" Sonic gets on his knees still looking up the possum, "Now what?"

"Next say, 'Nate the Newt never knew Nelly neighs at noon.'"

"What?"

"That's the secret possum password for 'I am calm, I will not hurt you, Master Yoda,'" said Knuckles.

" Nate the Newt never knew Nelly neighs at noon," repeated Sonic.

"Now you stay perfectly still…and I mean _perfectly_ still…or the possum will think you're reeking havoc…" said Knuckles.

" Nate the Newt never knew Nelly neighs at noon."

Sonic remains perfectly still as the possum on his head is just looking around. Knuckles picked up his feather duster and slowly approached the possum. As Knuckles approaches Sonic, he mouths, "_Chemicals in your brain_…" And Sonic remains still.

"Knuckles…what are you doing?" asked Sonic.

"I'm gonna whack that possum into the 2134345646546040540641st dimension…which is…_the Twilight Zone_!" said Knuckles.

Suddenly The Twilight Zone theme song begins to play (_It goes ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding…_okay that was crappy_…_) Sonic and Knuckles look around.

"The hell was that!?" asked Knuckles.

"…Wasn't that Shadow's theme song?" answered Sonic.

"…WORKS FOR ME!" said Knuckles, " Now It's possum time!"

Knuckles is finally in reach of the possum, which is looking directly at him; and has the feather duster above his head, "One…two…DIE!!!"

Sonic's super scared, "_NATE THE NEWT NEVER KNEW NELLY NEIGHS AT NOON_!"

Knuckles swung the feather duster, and the possum ran off of Sonic's head onto his chest, tickling him.

"Ahhhhh-hahahaha! Get-haha-it-haha-NOW-hahaha-_KILL_-hahaha!" cried Sonic.

"Kill it? Crap, why'd you say so!?" said Knuckles 'rolling up his sleeves.'

Knuckles tackled Sonic and the possum jumped off of Sonic's leg and hopped out of the window, scratch-free.

"Did you see that! That thing was givin' me dirty looks! He's so NOT machadoeshus!" said Knuckles.

"Knuckles, I've just been violated by a possum," said Sonic.

"…Feels good, don't it!?" said Knuckles with a sly grin. [?]

"_WHAT_!?"

"I think we should join everyone for breakfast, don't you!?" said Knuckles, "Now I wish I had a possum burger!"

Someone wrapped on the door, and Sonic answered it, "Yellow? Oh hey Rouge."

"Hey Sonic!" Rouge beamed, then she began eyeing a microwave that sat on the TV, "…Can I borrow your microwave?"

"Microwave? What for? I'm already hot, baby! SSSSSSSSSS!" said Knuckles.

Sonic and Rouge stared at him then ignored him, "HEY! WAS THAT SARCASM TROUBLEMAKERS!?"

"…You got a microwave…Or will I have to steal it?" asked Rouge.

"…Okay, wait a sec," Sonic turned around to see the quilts on his bed were missing, "Wha?"

" What? Oh, I forgot to take the matching curtains too, huh?" said Rouge.

**_At the Large Outside of the Cafeteria…_**

Shadow and Team Chaotix are sitting at a table across from each other.

"So, Shadow, would you like to be ten dollars richer?" asked Vector.

"Yes," said Shadow.

"Good, okay then, here's the deal," Vector scooted his chair closer to the table, "There's this chick that wants a date with Sonic understand?"

Shadow thinks awhile then answers, "Ummm…No."

"Okay then…here, how about this…"

Vector pulled out a bag of gummy worms and Shadow's expression instantly lit up, "How much do you want for those?"

"Listen Shadow, see this pink gummy worm?"

"And that's blue!" said Shadow proudly pointing to a blue one.

"Yes…" said Vector slowly, "Now back to the pink—"

"Amy?" asked Shadow.

"Uh, no," said Vector, "Now listen, no forget that, concentrate, Shadow, concentrate on the pink gummy worm."

There was complete silence as Shadow stared at the pink gummy worm.

"Are you concentrating Shadow?"

" Mmmm, only a little bit, but I really think—"

"Concentrate…"

"Are you sure that's not Amy!?"

"CONCENTRATE!"

"Done," said Shadow.

"Okay, the pink gummy worm is a girl, and—"

"Aww, how cute," said Shadow, " Is the blue one a boy? Wait! You should make him manlier! Got any black and red gummy worms in there that say '_Chaos Control_!'?"

"…Okay, either you listen or I'll force you to play Eggman Adveture EX : Eggman's cut where he runs around in…his skimpy outfits where he jumps…and bends…and rolls… (shivers) _damn was that nasty_…"

"Okay, okay, I'll listen now," said Shadow.

"Good!" said Vector, "Okay, this pink gummy worm is a girl, and this blue gummy worm, is Sonic. Shadow, the pink gummy worm has a crush on Sonic.

Shadow sighs and sounds love-dazed, "Wormy love…"

"…That sounds…kinda nasty—but anyhoo, since the pink worm likes Sonic, she's willing to pay a certain group of hunks a lot of money if they can set that date up…and all you have to do…is pretend to be Sonic," explained Vector.

Vector looked at the worms, and then wolfed them down in seconds, "Pink worm and blue worm, say hello…_TO MISTER DEATH_!"

"But she'll never buy that I'm Sonic! He's…_blue,_" Shadow whispers as if it was a curse.

"Well…just say you…spilt black paint all over yourself," said Vector.

"And all the black paint spilled perfectly all over him?" asked Espio skeptically.

"Works for me," said Vector.

"And I get my cut in the money?" asked Shadow.

"Of course," said Espio, "And to seal the deal, we'll shake on it."

Shadow and Espio shook on the deal, "Hey Espio, you're hands…are super soft! Do you use a moisturizer?"

"Thanks for noticing! And of course! A ninja can't just go around fighting with coarse and wrinkly hands!"

"But first things first, we gotta take the real Sonic outta the picture," said Vector with a sly look upon his face.

"How?" asked Shadow.

"Team Chaotix style, baby!" said Vector.

**_At Sonic & Knuckles Room…_**

" Yo Sonic, I'm gonna be a sleep for a wink, so be quiet for awhile, I'm a delicate sleeper, okay?" said Knuckles.

"Yeah, sure," said Sonic who was playing a videogame.

"Machadoeshus, baby," said Knuckles.

The guardian instantly fell asleep on the top bunk as Sonic continued playing, 'Amy Adventure AX: Amy's No-cut'. Then suddenly, the door was burst open, and four guys wearing all purple entered.

"Hey!" Sonic cried angrily, "YOUR GONNA HAFTA WAIT YOUR TURN!"

"Sonic the hedgehog, _come with us_!" said one of the purple masked and dressed men.

"One question…why purple?" asked Sonic.

"…It was a deal, four purple outfits, masks, and brass knuckles for the price of one!"

Yes folks, four fabulous purple criminal wardrobes are on sale at Eggman's Bargain Bash for only $12345.678, so stop in and shop until you drop! ( _Eggman__ guarantees that prices will be jacked up $200 bucks before tomorrow_!)

"Yeah, that is a good de—did you say brass knuckles?" asked Sonic.

"…………No?"

Sonic paused the game then took off running, and the purple fitted men took off after him as well.

" HEY! STOP RUNNING!" cried one of the purple masks.

"_YOU_ STOP RUNNING!" cried Sonic, running around a table.

The smallest, flying purple man picked up a chair and chucked it at Sonic.

" AAH!" Sonic zipped around just below the chair.

Another purple man picked up a pillow and threw it at Sonic.

" For hitmen, you guys suck!" said Sonic.

"Oh really!? Well HITMEN THIS!"

The tallest purple man picked up a table and threw it at Sonic. Sonic dove just below the table that hit their bunk bed. The beds collapsed, and once the dust cleared, Knuckles, who was on the top bunk, was still sound asleep.

"Simpleton!" hissed the serious purple man, "You could have killed the echidna!"

"Thank goodness he's alive!" said the smallest, flying purple man.

"WHOA! I was so scared…I FARTED!" said the tallest one.

"Enough about old pastimes!" said one of the purple men, " LET'S GET THE FAKER!"

"Did you just call me a faker!?" asked Sonic.

"…QUICK! HE'S THINKING! LET'S GET EM'!"

All four of the purple (looking for a new synonym for 'men') chaps took opposite ends and charged at him. And Sonic's only escape was up, so the blue hedgehog hopped on the ceiling fan.

"Hey! GET OVER HERE!" said the tallest purple guy sounding like Scorpion.

"Sorry, but I'm just a big _fan_ of heights!" said Sonic spinning around on the fan.

"My patience with you is draining Sonic," said the serious purple guy, "Sharp tooth, _Dissipate HIM_!"

"_I WILL SHOVE THIS UP YOUR JELLYROLL_!" he screamed picking up a chair.

Everyone turned to look at the tallest purple guy, " EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

The tallest purple guy chucked a chair at the fan and ended up knocking both Sonic and the fan out of the ceiling. Once the smoke cleared the purple men loomed over the blue hedgehog.

"Is he conscious?"

"Check him."

"Okay, I'll shove this up his nose!"

"I said check him, not brain damage him….and besides, we don't want another idiot like you running around here."

One of the purple men pulled out a sharpie and drew a mustache on him, "Yep, he's out like an outhouse."

The purple men removed there masks and they were…TEAM CHAOTIX AND SHADOW!!!...Okay, it wasn't really a big surprise…

"So….Can I give him a goatee?" asked Vector.

"Let's tie him up already, Shadow's got a date at eight," said Espio.

Out of nowhere Shadow came running and busted a vase over Sonic's head with pure rage.

"YAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!"

"…The blue hell was…that for?" asked Vector.

"_That_ was for being the blue gummy worm!" said Shadow.

Keeping his temper Espio said nothing and tied Sonic's arms and legs, "Vector, help me throw him in the tub, but be delicate.

"Okay!" Vector picked the blue hedgehog up and literally piledrove Sonic into the tub and kicked his loose limbs in. Then Vector spun to face Espio and winked.

"_This guy is a moron_," thought Espio to himself.

"Aww, look! He's shivering! Mister blankey will keep him nice and warm!" Shadow threw a blanket over Sonic and tucked him in.

Finally with their deed done, Team Chaotix and Shadow left the room and just as soon as Shadow closed the door, Knuckles awoke.

"Now that was some quality sleepage!..._What the hell happened here_!?"

"The fan's ripped out of the ceiling!? Aww, crap, _this place is devalued_! And for once I had no contribute to this! Well, there's no way I'm takin' the heed for this manure! Wait a minute…this must be a dream! Yeah, a dream!"

Knuckles ran over towards the window then jumped out of it. [Why he's doing this? I have no idea...]

"Look at meeeeeeeeeeee flllyyyyyyyyyyyy--------aaaaaawwwww craaaaaaaaaaaappppppp--(PLOP!) Ah! Oh…I don't think my leg should be all wiggly and jiggly like that…I BROKE MY FAT!"

**_Inside the Cafeteria area…_**

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"And remember Shadow, we're watching you from the bushes, and we've got you wired, so we'll tell you what to say, okay?" said Espio.

"Okay" said Shadow.

"Are you sure you won't screw this up?" asked Vector.

"Fellas, just …remember," Shadow uses his cocky Sonic Adventure 2 battle voice, "I am the Ultimate life form."

He skates off leaving Espio, Vector, and Charmy watching.

"Yep, he's gonna screw up," said Vector.

'Okay _Shadow…you can do this…women are pink gummy worms…pink gummy worms_!'

Shadow slowly walks over to a yellow female hedgehog, "Hello, how can I help you?"

"Hi…I'm S-sh-SONIC!!! I'm Sonic!" said Shadow shakily.

"Umm, aren't you suppose to be blue?"

"Ummm…"

The Shadow heard Vector from his ear piece.

"_Shadow, say 'I've been tanning!' Or say something!"_

"Yes, but I got…a makeover…on a television show…" said Shadow, looking around.

"_D'oh_! _She'll never buy that_!"

"Really? What show?"

"Umm…Maria…"

"Huh?"

"The Maria show!" said Shadow thinking of something at the top of his head.

"Wow, cool! Sit down Sonic!"

_"Wow, she bought it, I guess she's a moronette, get it Eps? A girl moron!"_

_"Yes Vector, I do, now be silent!"_

**_Outside the Cafeteria area…_**

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Amy, Tails, Rouge are sitting outside looking completely bored as Tikal giggles while sipping lemonade.

"Okay what does an ancient girl ghost-echidna say to the boy ghost echidna?" asked Tikal.

"Shut up!?" demanded Rouge.

"No! She says 'Ti-_call_ me!' Get it!? That's my name!" giggled Tikal.

Amy looks up at the sky, "If anyone up there likes me, send something to shut her up!"

" Bwahahaha—ah?" Tikal looked up, " Ahhhhhh-"

Falling from the sky, Knuckles fell right on top of her, and Amy was impressed, "_WOW_!"

"A man!" Tikal faints.

"Knuckles, what happened?" asked Rouge pulling him off of a star-struck Tikal.

"…IT WAS SONIC'S DOING!" cried Knuckles.

"Speaking of which, where is that fine blue hedgehog!?" asked Amy.

**_At Sonic & Knuckles Room…_**

Finally conscious, a tied-up, but super angry Sonic struggles to get free. With quick thinking, Sonic uses his sharp quills to cut his ropes, then he pulled off the scotch tape around his mouth.

"Ouch! Regular tape would have been good enough! Well whoever they are, they're in for a world of hurt!"

Dramatically, Sonic slowly stomps out of his room, he happens to gaze at a mirror and keeps on stomping by……….Only to dash right back, he checked his reflection, winked then zips off. Then The phone rang until the answering machine picked it up, "Hey this is Sonic, sorry but I'm not available now and—"

Sonic's recording suddenly cut off and was replaced by Knuckles' voice, "GET THE HELL OFFA MY PHONE!—Don't forget to leave a message after the beep, Machadoeshus, baby," _(Beeeeeeeeep!)_

"Hey Sonic? It's me, good ol' Rotor, if y'all got a sec, c-can we talk about my childhood? I think Sally's damaged me good. Ya'll see, when we were little, Sally made me (whispers_) DEHEAD HER BARBIES_! …I'm all messed up and twisted…(starts sobbing) _like…A LICORICE! Damn you Sally! Damn you!....... _But I love her Sonic…"

2 Bee Con-10-U-Ed!!

Knuckles and Sonic walk in the middle of the stage, "Leave a Review!"

"If you do then I won't have to (gets on his knees) SIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGG!" Knuckles manages to shatter every window in sight, "…I'm not paying for those…(Looks at you) And if you can't…GET YOURSELF A J-O-B YOU SLOB!"

Shadow rises out of the audience looking very upset, " Break **_my_** windows will you!?" He pulls out an axe and runs after a screaming Knuckles. Sonic just watches them both, "Wow, Shadow _really did_ have that axe he was talking about! Well, leave a review or he will hunt you down! Peace out!"


	3. The wise one

**W**eLcOmE **To cAmp ChuMmY**!

**chum·****my** ch m Very closely associated:

close, familiar, friendly, intimate

Nope, I don't own any Sega characters…especially Knuckles…

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**EP-pee-soe-d Tree**: **"The wise one…"**

****

**_At the Large Outside of the Cafeteria…_**

After his miraculous escape from being hog-tied in his own bathtub, our azure hero was seeing red. He was out for some hot vengeance on a kabob, and if he got immediate gratification…it would be like adding a spicy, tangy sauce on his revenge kabob.

If that Sherlock Holmes-what's-his-face could find bad guys fast…then, being twice the hero he was, the cobalt one would have them found, ass-whooped and shipped off to an unknown country before dinner.

..At least that's how the blue hedgehog saw it.

He quickly stopped at a table with familiar faces and slammed his fist on the table, "_Where…are…they_?"

Tails raised a finger, indicating that he wished to speak, but Sonic cut him off, "Oh, so you all don't hear me, huh?"

"Sonic!" Amy cried, rising out of her chair.

In a matter of seconds, Amy had made at least fifty attempts at diving and hugging the blue hedgehog, but being as fast as he was, Sonic skillfully dodged all of her lightning fast maneuvers, while keeping his eyes on his friends in front of him.

Anyone who had witnessed this event might have thought they might have been doing some weird…kind of dance where Amy swung around on the ground, grabbing at Sonic while he merely made side shuffles.

"Aww!" Amy cried in despair, pouting.

"Anyone have anything to say….Rouge?" Sonic asked, snapping his head in her direction.

"No," Rouge said, admiring her gloved nails.

"Cream?" Sonic asked looking at the little rabbit.

"Nope! But do you wanna see a picture I drew?" Cream asked, eyes shinning.

"…Well, it couldn't hurt," Sonic said more so to himself, "I bet it's a picture of your favorite blue—"

Sonic's green irises dilated to the size of peanuts…in his hands was a cutesy, kindergarten-looking drawn picture of a black-hedgehog with red streaks. Although the picture wasn't very realistic…Cream had_ nailed _his trademark smirk. _Nailed it._

"What do you think of it, Mister Sonic?" Cream asked sweetly.

"I think this…this _evil… satanic_ image is about to burn my eyes out of my sockets…" Sonic thought to himself.

Rouge smirked, intent on egging him on, "Hey Sonic, wanna see the picture Cream drew of _you_?"

Sonic snatched the picture out of Rouge's hands and glared at it. Once again he felt that imploding, queasy emotion again.

It was a picture…of blue scribbles.

…Scribbles; no face, no stick arms and legs, nothing but blue, careless circles, with two lopsided green eyes. This was just a notch below hate mail.

"…_Who… is responsible for this_?" Sonic asked in an odd, metallic voice.

"What are you upset about?" Knuckles said with a smug grin, "Personally…I think it looks just like you 'Nic."

"Personally, I'm about to order twelve rounds of AK-47 bullets and—"

"Uh, Sonic, "Rouge interrupted thoughtfully, "Aren't you here for some _other_ prior business?"

Sonic blinked, then it all resurfaced, "Oh yeah…Do any of you guys know who had the nerve to jump me and _then _stock me in my own tub?"

Tails opened his mouth to speak but Sonic waved him off to silence him, "That's okay, lil' bud, I got this."

Tails frowned, crossing his arms. At that moment, Amy made another dive towards Sonic, hoping to surprise from behind, but Sonic merely craned his neck to the side and Amy landed on the table, skidding on her stomach.

"Hehe, did anyone order an 'Amy la mode'? Ding-ding! Order up! " Knuckles laughed.

…Silence, everyone stared at him with blank faces; Rouge's glare standing out due to the fact that it was particularly mean.

"It was suppose to…you all can take the Tyson approach and bite me…Up all yours and hard!" he finished in a low growl.

"Look," said Tails slowly, "If you want to find—"

"I think the best approach to handle this problem is to—" Sonic began.

"…Go to Mac Donald's," Knuckles said casually.

"Why? Random-Joe?" Sonic asked.

"Seek out some revenge on Ronald MacDonald's cleft-chinned ass. Remember that time he gave you a cheap shot in the groins for you screwing up _his_ order? So go to Mac Donalds and…"

"CONFOUND IT!" Tails shouted, slamming his fists on the table, almost wiping Amy out, "Let THE ONLY SMART PERSON _here_ SPEAK!"

"…Good point…" Rouge said, blinking.

"Oh Pish-posh, Rouge, Technically you're a fox right?" Knuckles said clapping his hands together, hoping that this hand motion will make him seem intelligent, "So (Clap) With all the considered (Clap) technicalities…Eggman is the only (Clap) Smart person. (Clap, Clap, Clap)"

"…What an idiot," Rouge moaned.

"…The fact that you clapped more times than you can count not only proved how idiotic you are, but you didn't make any sense!" Tails hissed.

"Pish-posh," Knuckles replied.

"And that does not make you sound any better either," Sonic said with half-lowered eyelids.

"…Oh rat's ass then…There, happy now?" Knuckles said glaring at Sonic, "And that time you beat me in Sonic and Knuckles? Yeah, you BET it was a cheap shot! Just like Ronald- 'Cheap'-Mac Donald, you threw dirt in my eyes, and unarmed me! You Spinning piece of ass!"

Tails sighed, "Sonic, if you ever want to find out who your attackers were, you should seek…Tikal."

" Tikal? Why her?" Asked Sonic.

" Tikal?" Knuckles gasped, "The kinda weird, mysterious, uncannily cute chick?"

"…Do you want to die?" Rouge growled, mugging him.

"…Would you like to buy me an ice old frappie? That's short for a frappichino," Knuckles added helpfully, "One too many though will leave you on the john for hours though..."

"Why her?" Sonic asked again.

"Because, she seems to know everything about everything…and besides she can turn into a ball of light! You just don't know what color it'll turn next!" Tails said excitedly.

**_In A Meadow In the park…_**

"…Who knew this summer camp was this big!" Shadow said, with the yellow hedgehog in tow.

"Yeah, isn't it great? If someone lived their whole life here, they'd never regret it at all!" the yellow hedgehog said.

"…Are you trying to tell me something?" Shadow asked.

"…What? I couldn't hear that," the yellow hedgehog said, "But anyways, I can't believe I'm dating _the _Sonic the Hedgehog!"

Suddenly, a loud buzz ran from Shadow's earpiece rang out.

_Bzztz__! BZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt!_

"Ahh! My ears!" Shadow shouted, ready to chaos control some butt-kickings, " Who--?"

"What?" The girl asked again.

"Umm, do you mind if I…look at the flowers, all the way over there?" Shadow asked pointing at least half a mile a ways.

"…Huh!"

"I'm gonna look at the flowers real quick.."

"Okay!"

Shadow skated a good distance out of earshot, then decided to turn up the ego-juice, "WHAT WAS THAT? Don't you know I have ultimate ears?"

" _We's__ was buzzin yas!_ _You're doin' okay Shad…You don't suck, but you ain't no superstar neither."_

_"Could that sentence get any grammatically worse, Vector?"_

_"Whadda ya mean? Eps? See, there you go bein' all up tight again. And doin' that blah, blah, blah thing again, you know, when you begin to preach." _

_"I'm not being all up tight'! I'm trying to tell you that you're simply being a poor role model for the c-h-i-l-d standing b-e-s-i-d-e us." _

_"No I ain't! And what kid is beside…. (Spots Charmy) Oh sh(zzzzzt!)"_

_"VECTOR!"_

_"What?__ I forgot that C-h-a-r-m-y was next to us."_

_"Hey! That's my name! C-h-a-r-m-y! C-h-a-r-m-y!"_

_"Oh no!__ Stop him Eps! He' doin' the name song thing again!"_

_"…Simpleton, how could you forget that he recognizes his own name?"_

_"C-h-a-r-m-y!__ C-h-a-r-m-y C-h-a-r-m-y! And Charmy was his name-o!" _

_"…Look Shadow, are you up for a challenge?"_

"Does the ultimate life form fry eggs in the morning?"

"_…."_

"…Yes, but that needs to stay between us."

"_Hey, whatever sick things you do with Eggman in the mornings stays between yous guys…anyways, if you take this bimbo to the Dance Club at sunset, then we get an extra bonus! How does that sound?"_

"Done," Shadow said.

_"…Hey, wanna have codes names and stuff?"_

_"_…I'mShadowed Chaos…"

_"Ooh! Can I be Buzzling Backstabber?"_

_"No, we won't have any backstabbers in this unit..."_

_"…Well, it sounded good…"_

_"I got a good code name for a big, strong guy such as myself, Reptilian Renegade. Booya!" _

_"You already have one Vector…"_

_"Really, what is it" _

_"Sharp-tooth."_

_"Sharp-toot?__ What the hell kind of name is that? Is your code name Silent squeeze?"_

"Who are you talking to Sonic?"

Shadow whipped around to see the yellow hedgehog behind me smiling. If Shadow could have, he would have jumped…but his ultimate-life form relaxes only allowed him to blink…and make up a quick comeback, "Who do you want me to talk to?"

"…What? I couldn't hear you? Could you please repeat that?"

"…?"

"Yeah, could you repeat that too?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I should tell you that I have this weird idiosyncrasy, when I was a kid, I used to play dodge ball…"

"…Didn't we all?" Shadow asked.

"…What?"

"…Never mind," he finished.

"So, one day this kid, Ronald---er…Ronald Krump, hit me in the head with a dodge ball and ever since, I became deaf."

"What a tragedy… (Like my Maria…)" Shadow replied.

" Well kinda, I just can't hear questions."

"Really?" Shadow asked, "Oh…um…_Interesting_…(Like my Maria)."

"_She can't hear questions? What kind of whacko person did you find EPS?"_

_"…That is sort of odd…"_

_"Well, ask the girl her name," _Vector said.

"What is—Your name?---Uh, I mean, do you—I---DAMN!" Shadow hissed.

_"How can he ask her her name if she can't hear him?"_

_"…You got me there Vector…"_

An idea hit Shadow, "(Points to himself) Name is to Sonic…As name is to (Points to the yellow hedgehog girl)."

"Oh! Enigma!" She cried.

_"Hallelujah! Hallelujah!" _Vector cried, "_Okay then Ultimate Life form, try inviting her to the Dance Club tonight at sunset." _

"Um…There's this…Dance club…and…it's a party for two…and (smirks) I wanna bring you."

"You rhymed! Sonic you're so cool! I'd love to go with you! Is sunset good?" Enigma asked.

"Ultimate," Shadow said with a smirk.

_"Well, that was a lot of hard work!"_

_"Yeah Eps, and until Sunset, we kick back, relax, and sing, 'Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon…you come and go…you come and goooooooo'."_

_"…Sing that one more time and I will inflict pain…Charmy's name song will have **nothing** on my torture…"_

**_In A secluded Tent…_**

Sonic slowly entered a tent filled with purple swirling incense. The blue hedgehog slowly looked over his shoulder at Knuckles, "Where, Knuckles the Echidna…have you taken me?"

"…Casper the friendly-ghost's house, now are you gonna go talk to Tikal or what?" Knuckles asked impatiently.

"And what is all this smoke in the area?...I swear Knuckles if this is _another_ drug lab—"

"…And if it was, then it really _would_ be Casper's house---Now get in there!"

"Just what—"

"Am I going to have to force you to talk to her? You know how I get things done…When I want things done…inorganic objects kneel and kiss my pinky rings, and _then_ _they_ get things done for me," Knuckles said, arms crossed.

Slowly Sonic turned to look forward and marched through twelve layers of sparkly curtains. Finally after passing the last curtain he found Tikal hovering in mid-air sitting Indian-style with her eyes closed.

Sonic peered at her for a few seconds before Knuckles appeared behind him, "Kneel."

"Excuse you? Since when did you become a bouncer? And a raggedy-assed one at that!"

"Ahh! Is that the voice of Sonic the Hedgehog I hear?"

Sonic turned to look at her, "Yeah, and Knuckles too."

"Well c'mon my children and take you seats, enjoy the organic pillows,' Tikal said, motioning to the pillows in front of her.

"…How are these organic?" Sonic asked raising a skeptical eyebrow.

"But do you really want to know?" She asked.

"…"

"Just what I thought, now why have you come to seek my wisdom?" Tikal asked, glancing from Sonic to Knuckles.

"Well, I heard that you could help me found out who—attacked me," Sonic said, purposely leaving out the rich details.

"My boy here got waxed! I heard he was hogtied and was beaten unconscious in his own bathtub!" Knuckles said laughing.

Sonic glared dangerously at a laughing Knuckles, but Tikal ended his mirth, "And would you like me to tell Sonic what you do when you're in the bathtub…with marmalade, and the leather whips?"

"…Please refrain from mentioning that," Knuckles said in his deep, SA2 intimidating voice.

"Sonic, I can tell you your fortune---if you can take this—"

"Done," Sonic said with a smirk.

He opened his palm to see a small cherry bomb.

"Oh---(POOM!)---Explosion…"

"—Leaf," Tikal finished.

"---I never knew that echidna ghost princesses believe in using cherry bombs----"Sonic growled.

"We Echidni believe in such techniques… Why, I remember when my parents put chainsaws in my crib…" Knuckles said.

"…Is Echidni the plural form of Echidna?" Sonic asked slowly.

" Echidni…Echdinamen…" Knuckles said.

"No it's not, said Tikal,

"You really are dumb, Knux…"

"You know what, you ass in snake's clothing…" Knuckles growled ready to start trouble.

"So, if I take the leaf…then you'll give me my palm reading, right?" Sonic asked.

"Solid! Of course…that is…if you can take it from me…. BEFORE A THOUSAND YEARS! HOHOWAHAHAHAHA!"

**_Some Unknown location…_**

Dark glasses glinted as a man began to speak, "So, you're a powerful man, and as an evil genius returning out of retirement…I thought it'd be wise to surround myself with powerful allies…so…what say you?"

The second man leaned back in a La-Z-boy recliner thoughtfully, "Hmm, Interesting-a…"

**_In Sonic and Knuckles' Room…_**

The Phone rings but no one answer and it's the good-ole answering machines job to pick up, "Hey this is Sonic, sorry but I'm not available now and—"

Sonic's recording suddenly cut off and was replaced by Knuckles' voice, "GET THE HELL OFFA MY PHONE!—Don't forget to leave a message after the beep, Machadoeshus, baby," _(Beeeeeeeeep!)_

"H-hello, hey ya'll its Rooter…ya'll know…good ole Rooter...before he…_changed, _and became everyone's….how that echidna boy say? … _sucka__…_ Yup, I'm everyone's sucka! (Sobbing) I'm so glad I have friends like you Sonic…why you listened when everyone slammed the doors, the proverbially doors of course……and real ones too…I have… (sniffle) another confession to make…my fur's not really purple---it's _amber_. Is that even a real color? I don't know…but chose purple because it's a nice color…but that damn Sally she said I looked like that Mac Donald's guy---why I really think she's a no good, low tootin'---(_beeeeeeeep_!-End of message)

2 Bee Con-10-U-Ed!

Sonic and Knuckles appear in the middle of the stage.

"You know the routine! Leave a review!"

Rouge appears between both Sonic and Knuckles, "Hey be sure to leave a review, mmkay? (wink)"

"Yeah, review quickly, 'cause Rouge is _clearly_ smitten with da Knuckles-knitten! And I don't know how long Rouge can keep her interactions PG-13!

"What are you talking about? I don't even like you! It's the Master Emerald I want! You just happen to have it!"

"Sure, I'll let you use that as an excuse….for now…"

Sonic smiles,"…Maybe you should review before Rouge nukes Knuckles…And as always stay tuned for the next episode (Eyes glow red) _Where I find those bastards who shanked me…"_


	4. The Union

**W**eLcOmE **To cAmp ChuMmY**!

**chum·my** ch m Very closely associated:

close, familiar, friendly, intimate

Nope, I don't own any Sega characters…especially Knuckles…

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**EP-pee-soe-d Fhoor**: **"The Union…"**

_**At a cliff near the Camp Chummy Ocean…**_

With the help of Knuckles, Sonic has sought out the wise guru who is willing to reveal his captors to him…for a price: Our azure hero must snatch a single green leaf from Tikal's palm.

Both Sonic and Tikal stood near a cliff by the ocean. They were at least twenty meters from each other, both appearing tense and ready.

…And Knuckles was there too; trying to psyche Tikal out with his massive muscles.

"Man-peck dance!"

Knuckles made his pectorals move. Sonic turned to look at him as if he was Barney the dinosaur, "…What are you doing?"

Tikal took a step forward as she smirked, "Are you ready to try and take this leaf from my hand, O blue one?"

Sonic whipped his head around to smile evilly at Tikal; however, in the process of turning his head he managed to whip Knuckles with his sharp, blue quills in his dancing pecks, "Ow! My babies! Damn you Sonic!"

Sonic smirked, ignoring his red friend, "You bet! Ain't nobody stoppin' me from finding those jerks!"

The azure hero took a step forward and clenched a determined fist," I'm gonna get that leaf, and you're gonna tell me whodunit!"

Tikal pointed an imposing finger at him, "You shall try blue one! YOU SHALL TRY…AND CRASH AND BURN! LIKE INFERNO! Hohomuwhahaha!"

As she laughed the sky suddenly turned overcast and thunder boomed. And the earth quaked under her feet.

Where Sonic and Knuckles were standing, it was completely sunny, and the Earth was completely still.

"…Well, someone was a little stingy with the freaky effects! We didn't even get a drop of earthquake!" Sonic said with a frown.

"Yeah! The Earth shakes more when Eggman jogs to the nearest McDonalds! " Knuckles complained, "And when fat-ass runs, it's freakin' apocalyptic!"

"Enough!" Tikal yelled, "As my ancient echidna forefathers said, 'If thou seeks to gain power, then thou must bring chains, inferno, and thunder to claim it at thou's needed hour!'"

"…Meaning?" Sonic asked.

"If you want me to tell you where your captors are, then you best bring your A-game, fool!" Tikal said laughing, "Hohomuwhahaha!"

"Ah yes," Knuckles said crossing his arms, trying to appear sagely, "That reminds me of an ancient echidna proverb."

"Which is?" Sonic asked.

"If thou can't endure the flames, then thou art to leave thy kitchen."

"Fine, you obviously don't know who you're dealing with!" Sonic smirked, "I'm Sonic T. Hedgehog. I'm Sonic **T**reat-fools-to-free-beat-downs-everyday-Sunday Hedgehog!"

"Yeah!" Knuckles said stepping in, " My boy mud-stomped Eggman's ass so bad once, that he had to go back to the hospital and apologize for breakin' his foot off in dat royal chop suey ass!"

"…I never wish to hear some describe Eggman's butt in that way again…but you get the point," Sonic said watching Knuckles pretend to beat up an imaginary foe.

"Fine then," Tikal said crossing her arms, "Take this leaf from my palm."

"Here I come!" With that, Sonic zipped over toward the echidna princess.

He began snatching at Tikal's open palm with tremendous speed, making Superman himself look as poor as a hobo at a Bart station.

But just as impressive, Tikal was dodging all of his swipes, and jabs with ease and grace, "At this rate, you shall never learn who carjacked you!"

Sonic frowned slightly as he continued swiping at Tikal's disappearing palm, "I wasn't carjacked ghosty! They took me by surprise."

"It's no wonder you were mugged so easily, you're so slow that Eggman could run from here to Siberia and you'd still be swiping at this leaf!"

"…Well you look like a Siberian goat!"

A Nearby Siberian goat who happened to overhear Sonic comment turned to glare at the blue hedgehog, "...And what is THAT supposed to mean?"

"HEY! GETTTA OUTTA HERE!" Knuckles said in outrage, "This is supposed to be a secluded place! …GRASS-ASS MASTER!"

Sonic continued throwing speedy, lightning-quick jabs at the echidna princess who evaded every blow gracefully. Sonic's scowl began to deepen, "…Why…can't I…get…that…stupid…LEAF?"

"Yes? Why can't you Sonic the hedgehog? Your speed easily surpasses mine twice over…and yet, you still can't take this leaf from little ol' me?" Tikal chirped in a cute, innocent voice.

"…BECAUSE YOU'RE A FREAKIN' GHOUL!" Sonic said, gritting his teeth.

"Either that…or you're just not good enough…" With that Tikal began flying away from him, hopping from tree to tree.

"…First she says I'm slow, and then she tries to fly off? HELL NO! Not today!" Sonic took off after the princess and because of his torrent anger; he created a tornado around himself.

"Damn, who does he think he is? The Tasmanian devil or somethin'?" Knuckles asked amused, "I always told him that he has to control that temper of--"

Knuckles was cutoff mid-sentence as Tikal flew passed him overhead and was followed by the Sonic-tornado. Bug-eyed, Knuckles dived out of Sonic's path of destruction and skidded on his stomach.

If not for his quick reflexes, he could have easily been put in the hospital for a couple of weeks. Frowning, Knuckles popped up from the ground, "HEY,TURBO! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO CURB THAT CRAP!"

_**At The Camp Chummy Club…**_

Arm in arm, Shadow and Enigma made their way to a club which was lit in bright neon lights of every color.

Naturally, the bright lights would have made Shadow and runaway and hiss like an alley cat, but he went straight into the eye of the storm. For on his arm was a willing, paying customer.

"Sonic, won't this be wonderful? We'll dance the whole night away!" Enigma said smiling.

Shadow frowned; dancing, another thing he hated. The last time he could recall dancing was on ARK when an _un_-sober Gerald Robotnik put on the John Travolta '_Stayin_' _alive_' movie record.

…And at the same time, the black hedgehog realized how horrible of a pun that was…

The black hedgehog sighed; it looked like he'd be in for a boring night. Who'd want to dance…with bright neon nights shinning and pumping ear-shattering music booming?

"…And the disco ball will be cool too!"

Shadow snapped to life, "…Did you say…disco ball?"

"…What was that?"

"…You mentioned a disco ball…"

"Yeah! I think we'll get to dance under one of those!"

Shadow smiled, "Disco balls…are ultimate…I suppose this evening isn't a complete bust after all…."

"_Shadowed chaos…do you read? It's Vector. Have you stepped into the joint yet?"_

Almost as if on cue, Shadow and Enigma entered the club's glass double doors. The neon lights were flaring, the music was blaring and the place was packed.

…In other words, it was Shadow's worst nightmare; Bright blinding lights, loud ruckus, and way too many people.

At the moment, the ultimate life form had to refrain himself from Chaos Blasting the place into bits.

"Yes, we're here," Shadow replied.

Enigma instantly turned to look at him, "Sonic, didya say something?"

"I said I'll go get us drinks, wait here."

Shadow left Enigma who in turn took a seat at a vacant stool. The black hedgehog darted through the crowd, pretty much manhandling and high-kicking anyone who was in his path.

Once he came to a bar where drinks were being served, he halted and touched his earpiece, "Talk to me, I'm at the bar,"

"_Finally, sheesh, for a speedy guy, you're pretty slow! So after you get your drinks, dance with her for awhile, she's paying our bills ya know." _Vector began,"_Anyhow, who's catering the place? They must be makin' some serious loot offa this gig."_

Shadow turned to look at one of the employees behind the counter. He read the uniform, " 'Zippy's chicken.'"

"…_Zippy's_ _Chicken_?" Vector said quietly.

There was silence on the line.

"…_Chicken? CHICKEN? DID YOU SAY ZIPPY"S CHICKEN?"_ Vector roared.

"_..Oh no…" _Espio sighed.

"_Hey Vector, isn't that the place that made you sick for two weeks?"_ asked Charmy innocently.

"_YA DAMN RIGHT IT DID, KIDDO! ZIPPY'S CHICKEN TURNED MY DIGESTIVE TRACK INTO GOO!"_

"_Goo!_ _Goo! Goo!"_ Charmy sang.

"…_Vector…please calm down before you act irrationally."_

"_Calm down? CALM DOWN? Man, F(ZZT!)K ZIPPY'S CHICKEN!"_

"…_Vector…"_ Espio began in his warning tone.

But, Vector settled for venting, "_F(ZZT!)K, F(ZZT!)KIDDY, F(ZZT!)K, ZIPPY'S CHICKEN_!"

"_Shadow!_ _You listen to me_!" Vector growled, "_We're gonna hit Zippy's Chicken with a direct blow to the ass cheeks_!"

"_VECTOR_!" Espio hissed, "_May I remind you that your L-A-N-G-U-A-G-E is poor around the C-H-I-L-D!" _

"_Shadow I don't care what you do, just get em' back big! Spit in their food, knock over drinks intentionally, …POO IN THEIR EYES!"_

"_Vector, decease with the vulgar language…And besides, I don't think that last option is possible…" _

"They haven't done anything to besmirch me…why should I care?" Shadow said nonchalantly.

"_Besmirch? What the hell is that? An energy drink?"_ Vector asked.

Espio sighed, "_Well, you heard him when he was acting rationally; take care of your date for the evening._"

_**At The Camp Chummy Club Entrance…**_

Entering the club seconds behind the notorious black hedgehog were Tails, Amy, Rouge, and Cream. All dressed to impress.

"…So this is the nightlife…." Tails said quietly.

Rouge looked around the club nonchalantly, "…So this is Club Camp Chummy, huh?"

"…I didn't even know camps had clubs!"Tails

Amy turned to Rouge and smiled, "Yeah, isn't it awesome?"

Apparently, Amy had forgotten that Rouge had a club of her own, one that was named after herself.

She _invented_ club life. She wasn't going to be taken easily by this, "…Neon lights huh? Ha! My club had neon lights _before _they were legal! We _invented_ neon lights!"

"Miss Rouge, I'm scared," Cream said gripping onto Rouge's leg, "The music's way too loud and the lights hurt my eyes!"

"That's okay baby," Rouge cooed, "Stay with me and we'll spend your money at mama's club."

"…I want Amy…" Cream replied.

"Honestly, I think she's too busy enjoying the club," Tails said looking at Amy.

"Yeah! This place is so alive!" Amy squealed, "Let's dance! …And where's my hunka-hunka-burnin' love?"

…Suddenly, as if answering Amy's wishes, Tikal burst through the door laughing as Sonic appeared at the door looking around madly, "…I SWEAR, I if find that freaky--"

"SONIC!" Amy cried.

She made a mad dash for Sonic but found that he had zipped away from her, " Aww! Sonic! Don't run away from me! I love you!"

"I know! And that's what makes me run faster!" he yelled over his shoulder.

But today, in the club Amy felt like giving her blue hero a chase, " Aww, isn't that cute Tails? He wants to play hide and seek with me!"

"Amy…" Tails started, "I think he's genuinely afraid of you…"

"Oh he's being silly! He wants to play with me!" And with that Amy skipped after her hero, " Tralalala!"

"What's wrong Sonic? Come and get me!" Tikal called from the air.

"I can't fly! So come down he—Whoa!"

Sonic skid to a stop before he hit a very spiny, black hedgehog, " Oh, my apologizes sir, I almost--"

Sonic paused mid-sentence as he saw who the black hedgehog was, "…Hmph, I always knew that you had _issues _controlling yourself…you.._issuer_ "

Sonic narrowed his eyes, "_Shadow_."

"Here's your drinks, sir," A bartender appeared behind Shadow.

"Thank you," Shadow took the drinks from the bartender and turned to scowl at Sonic again.

"You know Shadow, if you rearrange the letters in your name…it spells out 'jerk'!" Sonic hissed.

Shadow smirked, holding one of the cups of soda like a wine glass, "Honestly, I _would _serve you up a hot glass of drama but I've got a da--"

Shadow frowned as something clicked in his head; wasn't he posing as Sonic? And didn't they tie him up and stuff him in a tub?

That's right, Espio tied him up and Vector put him in the tub. If they had followed the Ultimate Life form's ideas, Sonic would _still _be lost somewhere in a third-world country.

Shadow frowned, "…Wait a minute…Why are you here? Shouldn't you be…_tied-up_ with something?"

"Tied-up? What are you…" Sonic snarled, "Wait a minute, were YOU responsible for--?"

Shadow smirked, "Indeed, if the group had followed my suggestions you'd be waking up…WITH KANGAROOS!"

"?" was Sonic's response; what was he talking about?

Sonic shook his head, " Either way…you're gonna get it!"

"…Sonic?"

Enigma the hedgehog appeared beside Shadow, blinking at the real Sonic, "…Who?"

"A fake!"

"You're dead _Shadow_!"

"Shadow?"

Amy appeared next to Sonic, looking at Shadow, "…Why?"

"'CAUSE HE'S UGLY!"

Sonic began to charge Shadow in a full-out sprint.

The black hedgehog handed the drinks to Sonic's fan, " Take these, and when I'm done with that faker, I want my martini on hand so I can toast to his beaten ass!"

_**Somewhere in a blimp…**_

Sitting at a black marble table was none other than the notorious Eggman. His interlinked hands rested on the mirror-like surface of the table as he stared at his three guests across the table.

And standing beside the great doctor was the Metal Overlord decked out in his trenchcoat.

He glared forward, unblinking at the three people before them; If anything went wrong, as things always did, then he'd be present not to save Eggman's rear, but to shove a, "I told you so, fatty," down his throat.

Eggman found himself before the Babylon rogues, ready to plead his case.

Sitting adjacent from Eggman at the other head of the table was the new Babylon Rogue leader, Jet. He was accompanied by his cohorts, Wave and Storm.

"Well, thank you for allowing me aboard--"

"We didn't want you here! You somehow got passed our moat filled with piranhas," Wave corrected.

"Moat?" Eggman began, "I didn't see a moat, the fish were flopping on the deck next to a glass of water!"

"…Idiot.." Wave moaned, looking at Storm.

"Jeez," Jet growled, "Next time I tell you to make a moat, Storm, it freakin' better be a MOAT!"

Storm gulped, "S-sorry boss…"

Blue eyes narrowed, as Jet turned his glare upon Eggman, "Anyway, who are YOU to be bad talking our moat?"

Eggman raised his hands defensively, "Hey, don't hate the player, hate the game!"

"Word," was Metal Sonic's reply.

Jet leaned back in his chair, "So what didya want, doc?"

"Well honestly I--"

"Wait a minute, let me rephrase the question," he said smiling, "Why in the hell are you on ride?"

Storm decided to talk since he had been quiet the whole time, "Yeah that's right boss! U-G-L-Y you don't got no alibi!"

"…Storm, don't open your mouth anymore today," Jet replied.

"Okay!" Storm piped.

"…Doctor?" Wave asked.

"Oh yes, I've come to offer you a proposition," Eggman said.

"Oh? Like what?" Jet asked.

"Well, how about you help me take over the world and…well, we'll go from there!"

Jet waved his hand as if swatting away a fly, " Nah, I'm not involved in that kinda stuff. The Babylon Rogues are interested in riches, and gold…and, uh…riches. Catch my drift?"

"Caught it and rode it!" Eggman laughed.

Silence filled the room as Eggman's laughter died away, however a soft, "Dumbass…" could be heard from the Metal Overlord.

"…But seriously…have you met this chick named Rouge?" Eggman asked, "She likes jewels and junk like that too…Sounds she's your kinda girl and--"

"Enough! Jeez! What the blinking hell is wrong with you! Can't you stay on topic for a second? You're just as bad as Wave."

"…What WAS that, GREENY?"

"But," Eggman said raising one finger, "what if I told you that you got to trounce Sonic's spiny meddling ass in the process?"

"Sonic!" Jet suddenly sat up in his huge, La-Z-boy chair, "That speeding, blue hedgehog who only says bad one-liners?"

"The 'one and only!'" Eggman said laughing at his use of Sonic's phrase, then he became serious, "…I really do hate that guy."

"Yeah seriously, total ass-sneeze," Jet said, "Am I right or what?"

"Oh yeah," Wave said nodding.

"Yeah, punk to the max," Storm agreed, nodding.

"Don't we all wish we could just jump him?" the Metal overlord added.

Jet blinked, "GAH! Look at us! All off topic AGAIN!"

"Sorry," Eggman said, "But really, Sonic-bashing conversations are the tops!"

Jet narrowed his eyes, gripping the arms off his chair tightly, "HOW, am I gonna get my chance to squash him?"

"Well…personally, I prefer the usage of lazers and blazing bad-ass guns…but you can do whatever the hell you want to him…as long as you help me conquer the world."

" No holds-bar, huh?" Jet said rubbing his chin in thought, "this calls for a…Babylon huddle!"

Wave and Storm crowded around Jet. The leader of the team spoke first, "Well? What do you guys think?"

"…I don't trust this guy," Wave whispered, "I mean, look at him!"

The Babylon Rogues turned their head to witness Eggman and the Metal Overlord playing Patty-cake.

"…Patty-cake! Patty-cake! Bake me a cake as fast as you can!"

"…Okay, good point, he's kinda out there," Jet said.

"…But he does hate Sonic!" Storm said raising an index finger.

"Yeah," Wave said agreeing.

" True, big ups," Jet said nodding his head.

"And if we help him…I'll get to crush that Amy character!" Wave roared, "ONLY HOOKERS WEAR PURPLE!"

Storm raised a finger to say something, but Jet stopped him and shook his head.

"Oh yeah boss, I don't like that red guy either! He-he said I was big, tall, and fat!" Storm wailed.

"…And he's three for three," Jet muttered, "But look, if we join up with Eggman…here's what happens: Storm can get revenge on Knuckles. Wave gets her revenge on pinkie, and (evil, excited face) and I can destroy Sonic the Hedgehog!"

Wave frowns, "…Wait a minute…so who gets to uh…deal with Tails?"

"…Who?" Storm asks.

"…You know, the orange-yellowish fox," Jet said, "Isn't that your 'zone', Wave?"

"Hmph! Stupid kid! He's on my list 'to screw-over list' just below Amy…"

Jet raises his hand, "Can I be on your ' to screw lis—"

"Shuddap!"

The Babylon Rogues look at Eggman, " Hey! If we cover Sonic, Knuckles, and Amy, who will take care of Tails?"

"Oh! I will! I will!" said Eggman waving his hands in the air, "We're both mechanics and we can have…robo-Gundam wing/Robotech battles!"

"…And what about this black hedgehog I've heard about?" Jet asked, " Never met him in person…"

"Shadow?" Eggman said looking panicked "Yosh! Someone has to cover that! SOMEONE HAS GOT TO COVER THAT!"

Metal Overlord looked at everyone and sighed, he raised his hand, " I've got five on it."

"All right!" Eggman said, "We're covered! So what do you say to my proposal?"

The Babylon Rogues moved out of their 'huddle' formation so Jet could see Eggman.

"…I want money, I want dinero,I want moola,I want l'argent! But ultimately, if you guarantee me my shot at Sonic, then we got ourselves a deal!" Jet presented his hand for a handshake.

"Then it's a deal!" Eggman said smiling.

He shook the Babylon Rogue leader's hand, "Muwahahaha! Steadily my power grows! And soon the Eggman Empire shall reign supreme!"

Jet arched an eyebrow, " _Eggman_ Empire?"

"Uh…um…the… EggJet Empire? Shall reign supreme! Muwahaha!" Eggman laughed, " And as for the first order or business…we…hack into their phonelines to see what they are doing…"

"…And just how do you know where he lives?" Wave asked skeptically.

"Bah, pish-posh," Eggman said waving a hand, "I've had trackers on that hedgehog since he was a kid! You know, I didn't just get my ass kicked in all those past encounters! I TRACKED HIM!"

Eggman put on headphones alongside of the Metal Overlord who did likewise.

They were both holding a high-tech device that looked like an old boom box from the eighties," And now, it's hacking time!"

The Metal Overlord chuckled and Eggman turned to look at him, "..What?"

"Hacking? That word makes me think of that one guy…Billy Thatcher?"

"Oh, oh, oh, I know now…That was SUCH a stupid game, and who wears a chicken suit anyway? You know I bet—Oh! look we're getting feedback!"

Little did Eggman and the Metal Overlord know was that they were tapping into Sonic and Knuckle's Camp telephone.

"Hey this is Sonic, sorry but I'm not available now and—"GET THE HELL OFFA MY PHONE!—Don't forget to leave a message after the beep, Machadoeshus, baby," _(Beeeeeeeeep!)"_

"Hey ya'll it's Rotor again, just thankin' ya for all the support you've given me about Sally and em' people—"

"Rotor?" Eggman gasped, " Oh ! HANG UP THE PHONE! HANG IT UP! HANG IT UP!"

"But this is a telephone hacking device—"

"…Then blow it up sky high! Wait, throw it out the window! Wait do both! Throw it out the window and _then_ blow it up sky-high!"

The new hacking device was chucked out the window and zapped into tiny pieces.

Eggman and the Metal Overlord exchanged glances, " Well.., this means that we'll have to go and take care of Sonic ourselves, personally…"

"Yeah..."

"..Well, we still have the Billy Thatcher jokes..."

2 Bee Con-10-U-Ed!

* * *

Amy sits in a big fluffy pink chair, " Aww, poor Rotor! I hope someone will listen to him…Anyways, be sure to leave a reviews, okay! And if you don't…Shadow STILL has the axe!" 

Somewhere out of sight,"…Oh yes I DO still have my Chaos Axe! Muwahahaha! …And my alien guns too!"


End file.
